In the Wind
by WritesWithQuills
Summary: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR BIRTHRIGHT! "It's fitting that my hopes and dreams should blow away in the wind..."


**_MAJOR SPOILERS FOR BIRTHRIGHT!_**

 _Disclaimer:_ _I don't own the right to Fire Emblem or any of the direct quotes used in this piece of fiction (if I did, I would have provided more grief for the major deaths)._

 _Now that that's over with, I just want to state that, for a game with as much death in it as Fates, the amount of grief that follows is strangely disproportionate-particularly when compared to the deaths and grief in Awakening. This is my way of creating a little more grief for one of the worst deaths in Birthright and is really only an outlet for my own imagination after witnessing something so horrible that is strangely ignored-particularly by both her sister and the man she supposedly loved. I suppose you could put it down to shock, but still..._

 _It's also alien to me that Jakob and Flora can't support in Conquest or Revelations, so this is also a way to provide a support that never was and never can be in Birthright._

 _Any feedback on this would be much appreciated as I plan on writing an outlet for grief for most of the major deaths in Fates as I finish each of the three games, primarily for my own peace of mind, but also for anyone on here who feels the same way._

* * *

In the Wind

" _I regret... Everything..."_

Flora's last words echoed in Jakob's ears as the army silently trudged back to their castle in the astral realm. After watching such a terrible waste of human life, it was understandable that everyone was quiet.

No one bothered to go after Felicia when she ran off in tears to her quarters, feeling the chill leave the air as soon as she was gone, believing it would be better to leave her to grieve alone. Everyone wanted to keep to themselves as they realised just how heavy the casualties of war could be. Some shuffled off to the arena to take out their anger and distress on inanimate objects; others headed off to the hot springs or their own quarters to process the action they had witnessed in their own way.

And after watching everyone else leave with a furrowed brow, Jakob slowly and shakily headed off to his own quarters, more of Flora's words running around his mind like a lost spirit unable to move on.

" _I regret... Everything..."_

So did Jakob.

" _I wish we could have just stayed in the Fortress... Happily serving Lord Corrin until we were old and grey... We could have had a future together. Just know that I'll always regret this."_

And the butler would always regret the lie he told before going in to try to to stop her idiotic attack with his dagger.

" _What? I can't hear you over this ridiculous snowstorm."_

He'd heard everything.

" _That's just as well. It's fitting that my hopes and dreams should blow away in the wind..."_

Even through the blizzard that she'd called to be, Flora could be seen blushing. A flush on her cheeks that had nothing to do with the chill in the air and actually seemed to radiate heat. She'd spoken to the side, as though she was afraid of admitting anything more, as though she'd already given up long ago.

But, had she given up on winning the battle or the prospect of a relationship with the butler?

With a ragged sigh, Jakob locked the door behind him, pulling off his waistcoat and arm-guards, leaving them, and his boots, by the door. The ribbon was pulled from his hair and dropped lazily onto the desk; his dagger pulled out of its sheath and thrown cathartically into the wood. Then, he fell limply into his chair, like a puppet who'd had its strings cut.

It had only been a few weeks since Jakob had left the Fortress-and consequently Flora-in search of his lord and somehow it had been long enough for the young maid to totally lose control. While the butler had always known that she'd had insecurities, he hadn't expected they would lead to this.

He hadn't known of her feelings towards him; he didn't know how he could have been so oblivious.

Removing one hand from his head, he pulled the dagger out of the desk and threw it back in at a different angle in attempt to let go of some more anger, forming an X in the wood that reminded him of something. Sitting up properly, Jakob pulled a small key out from under his inkwell-his shaking hand causing the liquid to spill onto the wood, much to his dismay-and used it to unlock the chest in his top desk draw. Inside were many envelopes, each signed in the same way: his name in perfect cursive on the front and a small X on it's back left-hand corner. Fingers traced the indent of the letter on each envelope as yet more memories flooded his mind.

* * *

" _What does this X symbolise?"_

" _Heehee... You'll have to figure that out for yourself!"_

 _A young Flora had laughed at him and rushed off in the opposite direction with a sweet wave and bright blush after she'd given him her first letter. A young and ignorant Jakob had simply looked at it in confusion and read the short prose inside with even more. In the end, he'd asked the young Nohrian prince, Corrin, what the letter meant._

" _Milord?"_

" _Yes, Jakob?" The white haired boy replied, pulling his nose out of a book to look over at the silver haired butler-to-be who had his own nose in the letter._

" _What would a singular X symbolise when written in a letter?"_

" _Well... Camilla often puts little Xs and Os at the end of letters she writes to me and she says they mean kisses and hugs, so I suppose that's what it could mean." The young prince tapped his chin as he thought some more. "What does the letter say?"_

" _Simply that Flora likes my current short hair better than the longer hair I had before." The young servant had cut his short ponytail off a few days before as it had been falling in his face when he'd been dusting and annoying him in several different ways._

" _Oh. I quiet like it long..." Young Corrin blushed as he spoke, not exactly knowing what was going on with Flora's affections himself._

" _Then I shall grow it long again to appease you, milord!"_

* * *

That letter had been all but forgotten, thrown deep into the butler's chest of letters only to be fished out now when it was no longer of any importance. The X was in the same place as all the others, though the maid's penmanship had been quite poor back then and their were several splotches of ink on both the envelope and the letter it contained. His right hand pulled nervously at his loosening braids as he read it once again. It was a sweet and simple note that really did only state that mint-haired maid liked his short hair, but the affection and deeper feelings were easy to see even then.

Shuddering slightly at how ignorant and unobservant he'd been, Jakob started pulling out all the letters-tipping them onto his desk and holding his head in his hands as he read each one again-noticing what he had missed the first time and seeing all those little Xs in the way that Princess Camilla would have viewed them. Each letter increased in length and the penmanship definitely improved as he read, but those little Xs remained a constant; always in the same place, written in the same way.

Little kisses that Jakob had never noticed, could never return.

It was only when he reached the very last letter that the butler realised the true extent of his regrets.

To start with, there was no kiss on its envelope, no name on it's front. The recently deceased had given it to him the day before he left the Fortress and told him to open it only after she was gone. With a shuddering sigh, he remembered that last day with her before he added inter-dimensional travel to his list of special skills and ended up back with his lord.

* * *

" _Jakob."_

 _The butler turned at the sound of his name, unsurprised to see those mint-coloured bunches bobbing as the maid ran up to him._

" _Flora. What do you want?" Jakob asked, as unsociable as ever._

" _Your planning on searching for my sister and Lord Corrin, aren't you?"_

" _Yes. But, I don't see what that has to do with you."_

" _I... Just wanted to say goodbye and good luck. And, ask you to write to me if you find them-to tell me how their faring," Flora stuttered slightly, looking down at her feet that she was twisting on the recently polished floor._

" _I will so long as you promise me that you'll stop scuffing the floor with your shoes. It took me a long time to polish this morning."_

" _Oh!" The maid stopped and looked away, a flush on her cheeks that he attributed to embarrassment, though now he thought it could have been something more. "Sorry."_

" _It's not exactly my problem, you'll be the one who'll have to polish again once I'm gone to make sure it meets King Garon's standards." The silver haired man watched as the young woman opposite him squirmed. "Is this all? I really must be going."_

" _Just... One more thing." She held out an unmarked envelope in both her hands, the tips of it damp from where it had been frozen slightly and then melted._

 _With a raised eyebrow, Jakob took it. "More letters, Flora? I thought you'd stopped with that after I pointed out that it's a waste of the King's resources to write to someone you can simply talk to."_

" _This will be the last one, I promise. But, please, only read it after I'm gone." And then she pulled him in for a tight embrace before he could tell her not to and whispered quietly into his collar:_

" _Goodbye, Jakob."_

 _Pulling away almost as suddenly as she pulled him in, the young maid smiled sadly and walked off in the opposite direction, leaving the butler alone with a letter and the sight of her retreating back to comfort him for years to come._

* * *

Gently, using the sharp tips of his gloves, the man broke the familiar Ice Tribe seal and read the page of letter within. Tears were flowing down his face almost before he was finished.

" _Dearest Jakob,_

" _If you are reading this, it means that I am no longer with you or you got impatient and decided to read it before I specified. If the latter is applicable, either stop reading now, or continue and warn the others of what I'm planning on doing._

" _King Garon presented me with a decision the other day and I, foolishly, took the more cowardly option which-once you write to me telling me where you are headed-will either lead to my death by your hand or his._

" _For, you see, he told me that I either had to kill Lord Corrin or he would kill my entire village. So, I am now set on the path to kill Lord Corrin._

" _Jakob, please, forgive my actions against the prince, my sister and you. I never would have considered doing something like that if I had any choice in the matter. If I wasn't so sure that I was being spied upon, I would have told you in person. But, as it is, I'm certain that I'll get punished for giving you this letter at some point._

" _If my Lord still has some sympathy left in his being, he's probably going to try and talk me down and get me to join his cause._

" _So, if you have waited and are reading this after my demise, I simply want to apologise to you all for making you witness my suicide. I'm so sorry, but I really couldn't think of any other way. It was probably less painful than anything King Garon would have done to me..._

" _However, I'm writing this letter to tell you something else:_

" _I've been in love with you since the day we met, Jakob._

" _Honestly, I don't know whether you are as oblivious as you seem about this matter, or whether you do actually know and are not acting on it because you're a bit of an arse, but I felt it needed to be said to you at some point-and is there any better time than when I know I won't be around to see you say you feel differently?_

 _I also wanted to take this time to thank you for continuing to wear that broach that I gave you. It belonged to the Ice Tribe for years, so it's nice to know that you do respect me enough to keep wearing it. I still like to think you wear it because you love me too, though that might just be a foolish dream now that I write it down..._

"... _I will never stop thinking of the future we could have had, growing old and grey together with our son serving our Lord's... However, it's probably best not to dwell on what could have been... The life we could have lived..._

" _I'm sorry you had to watch me burn myself, I imagine you found it quite sickening. But, if you haven't, please, warn Lord Corrin for me._

" _That's all I have to say._

" _Oh, and thank you for taking care of my sister and I all these years. I hope you continue to do so for Felicia even now that I'm gone._

" _With love (probably from the grave),_

" _Flora. X_

" _P.S. Xs symbolised kisses, if you were still wondering."_

With sobbing gasps and a shaking hand, Jakob put the letter on top of all the others scattered around his desk, his left hand gripping his head as his right followed the line of letters that made her name. Tracing the looping cursive until he finally stopped crying, he got up and pulled on his boots; picked up the letter and slammed his door.

It was time for Corrin to find out who had really caused Flora's death.

* * *

"Milord?" The butler knocked on the tree house door firmly, unsurprised to find the entire castle grounds empty of people as he walked up to it. "I wish to speak with you."

There was a shuffling and a faint click from behind the door followed by the familiar sound of the prince's voice telling him to enter. As Jakob closed the door behind him, he was unruffled to find the room before him in a messy state since his master had obviously taken out his grief on something that couldn't fight back. Clucking slightly, the servant began to tidy and organise almost instinctively, not really thinking about his actions as he proceeded around the room. The white haired Hoshidan Noble watched for a few moments before laughing and plopping himself down on his bed.

"Leave it be, Jakob. I'll throw everything around again after your gone." He said as he watched his retainer organise his letters into a neat stack.

"Of course, milord." The strictly disciplined butler stopped immediately to turn and face his Lord.

"Why are you here, Jakob?" Asked Corrin after a tense silence descended on them.

"I'm here to apologise, milord. It appears that I may have been able to prevent Flora's death."

"What?" The prince started at his words, staring up at him in disbelief. "Why would you say that?"

"Before I left the Fortress, Flora gave me a letter that she told me not to read until after she was gone from this world and asked me to write to her and inform her of your location when I found you. I did both those things, and if either order had been ignored, she could still be with us." Jakob refused to meet the eyes of his liege as he spoke, ashamed at what had happened and at the fact that he could have prevented it.

"I fail to see the connection." His liege said confusedly, so Jakob handed him the letter. But a moment later, Corrin's eyebrows had disappeared into his hairline in shock and his eyes had glassed over with tears. A few minutes later-Jakob often loathed how long it took for his Lord to read-there was a sad smile at his lips as he looked up at his butler, tears still unshed. "Jakob..."

The next thing he knew, the butler was being held in a tight embrace from the prince, their similarly coloured hair falling together over his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," said Corrin into his shoulder. "It's not your fault, you were keeping a promise to a friend, you would have done the same for me."

"Without a doubt, milord." Said Jakob instantaneously, not really knowing what to do with his arms.

"I know," the butler felt the other man laugh against his body as he continued to be held. "I'm sorry. It'll be better soon, I promise."

And then the silver haired man hugged his Lord back, tears falling down his cheeks yet again. "Don't make promised you can't keep, Lord Corrin." Jakob whispered, a small smile finally on his lips after all the events of the day.

* * *

The butler finally left the tree house a few hours later, spending the rest of his time cleaning Corrin's home and reminiscing with him about their lost friend. So, when he finally departed, the sky was a deep purple with sparkles of silver flecked across it's expanse. Everywhere was still quiet, the only sounds audible to his ears being that of the owls living in the eaves of the throne arch. The night was warm with a gentle breeze that did little to cool the environment and only stopped it from getting too humid. After everything he'd witnessed that day, Jakob was glad that the night was warm; he didn't think he could bring himself to light a fire.

As he walked across the grounds to his quarters, he let his mind wonder and soon began to feel someone walking beside him in a sort of detached way. He assumed they'd give up and leave him alone when he refused to make any sort of conversation, but he could still feel them there when he reached his door. Sighing, he turned to face them and prepare himself to tell them to go away.

There was no word to describe how he felt when he saw the partially visible form of a dear old friend stood by his side.

With a gentle smile in her eyes, she reached out a hand to push a loose strand of hair from his cheek; with tears falling into the hair on his cheek, he reached out for her too, words forming on his lips that he wished he could have told her all along.

Three words were lost to the sudden gust of wind that blew the spiritual form across from him into ash once more. When it died down again, the hair that the hand had tried to move was pushed away, and there was no one stood opposite-or anywhere near-Jakob. Looking up at the sky, he was sure he could see one star burn brighter than the others, it's silver light almost incandescent against the purple expanse of their galaxy.

Tears continued to stream down his face as he entered his home, hearing Flora's words in his own thoughts one more time and missing seeing her leaning against Corrin's tree across the grounds.

" _It's fitting that my hopes and dreams should blow away in the wind..."_


End file.
